I loved you
by XxFleetingEmbracexX
Summary: It's never a good idea to start a new relationship when you have not healed from your previous one. OneShot. Slash. AU. AH. Past!JacobxEdward, Present!EmmettxEdward.


Author Note: I listened to Taylor Swift's song The way I loved you, and this was the result. I'm quite happy with it even though it was out of the blue. My muse likes to play games with me and instead of helping me with my unfinished stories it decides to start new ones.

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight there would be no Twilight movies, but an anime, and yes it would be yaoi...

Warnings: Slash. AU. AH. Language. Angst-ness, seems that I like my Edward angsty, God how I it, but can't seem to stop writing it. UnBeta'd.

Pairing: _Past!JacobxEdward_, Present!EmmettxEdward.

...

The day was finally coming to a close, and Edward couldn't be happier. He quickly gathered his belongings and swung his heavy backpack over his shoulder. With a weary smile he waved to a few of his friends as he walked toward his locker. It had been a very hectic day, what with all of the final exams before the school year finally came to a close, he was just glad that another day had been survived.

"Hey there, beautiful." He heard the voice from behind and smiled once more, shutting his locker. Emmet McCarthy could quiet possibly be the 'perfect boyfriend.' He was nice, caring, and so damn sweet that it all but rotted Edward's teeth. When they had first met Edward was sure he was just a big flirt, he would always be walking the hall with one or two girls hanging of his arms, but once they got to know each other, Emmett stopped his flirtatious demeanor with all, except Edward.

"Hey, Em. You finish your test this time?" Edward asked as he turned toward the other boy, laughing when the other scratched his head sheepishly.

"Uh, about that…y'know they shouldn't even test us at the end of the year." Emmett complained as he and Edward walked through the hallway. Emmett casually draped his arm across Edward's shoulders pulling him closer. The gesture was simple and one that he used all of the time, but it still managed to bring a dusting of pink to the younger's cheeks. As they walked out of the school he noticed two of his friends talking outside and as soon as they walked out their eyes glued onto them. Alice waved at them, a happy smile on her face while Rosalie rolled her eyes. The bronze-haired boy recalled a particular conversation they had that morning, Alice kept gushing over how incredibly charming Emmett was and how she could only wish that her own crush would finally ask her out, and be as sweet as Emmett was with her friend. This was followed by Rosalie shaking her head and going on a minute long rant over how "women don't need men to be happy," but nonetheless agreed that Edward was lucky to have Emmett and vise-versa.

"So, did your dad give you permission to go out with me tonight?" Emmett asked hopeful, startling Edward out of his reverie.

"Yeah, he did, I think my mom had a large part in that though. I'm sorry about that, by the way. Dad can be pretty intense sometimes." The younger replied, referring to the past days they hadn't been able to go out simply because his father had refused to give him permission. He knew that his dad cared for him and only wanted to protect him, but sometimes he just needed to calm down.

"No, don't apologize. I understand, after all we kept it a secret from him, so he was right in freaking out about me." Emmett said as they stopped in front of his car. He turned toward Edward and pecked him on the lips. He smiled at the green-eyed boy receiving a small smile in return.

"Don't worry so much, Beautiful, I don't care what I have to do in order to get your dad's approval. For you it's all worth it." The sincerity was mind-spinning.

"Your too good to me, Em." With that they got in the car and drove away.

…..

Edward guessed he had about two hours before Emmett picked him up. He was currently lying on his bed dressed only in sweats and a T-shirt after his daily work out. Just as he was going to head to his bathroom in order to shower, his cell phone rang. Figuring it was Emmett he answered without looking at the screen.

"Hey there, Babe." The voice was raspy and rooted Edward to his bed, frozen in shock.

"J-Jacob?" Edward couldn't help the crack in his voice. It was so surreal to hear his voice again.

"You don't sound as happy as I imagined you'd be to hear me again." Jacob said, his voice teasing. Edward narrowed his eyes, anger beginning to boil in his stomach.

"What the hell do you want?" He asked, his hand gripped the phone tighter.

"Definitely not as happy. Why so harsh, babe?" Jacob drawled out and Edward could practically see the smirk on the other's face.

"Don't call me that! You know, after everything that's happened how the fuck did you get the nerve to call me?" Edward was furious now and had to whisper-shout so his parents wouldn't overhear.

"Look, Edward-" Edward cut him off before he could continue, his head beginning to throb.

"Don't… don't you ever call me again, Jacob." With that he hung up and turned his phone off. Edward flung himself back on the bed and pulled a pillow over his head, memories, that he had long ago locked up, flooded his mind.

…

"_You come here a lot." Edward was startled by the voice, having been lost in the book he was currently reading. With a shaky nod he looked up to see the intruder that was interfering with his quality reading time. The boy, or rather man, in front of him was undoubtedly handsome, with his tall stature, strong build, black hair, and smoldering onyx eyes. The younger one felt his mouth go dry as he gazed at the other male. _

"_Uh… yeah, why?" Edward asked uneasily. He was incredibly nervous, it wasn't every day an extremely attractive man came up to you and wanted to chat. _

'_Calm down, Cullen. It's not as if he's gay and came over here to ask you out.' Edward scolded himself mentally. _

"_No reason. It's just that someone like you isn't very hard to miss, after all you are Carlisle Cullen's son, correct?" Edward answered with another nod._

"_Our famous doctor sure has himself a very cute son." The other said, taking a seat beside Edward, whose face was glowing red after the comment. After a moment of silence Edward looked up at the other male and finally spoke._

"_Do… do you need something?" His voice was meek, not at all accustomed to the looks he was receiving from the other boy. _

"_First of all, my name is Jacob, but call me Jake. Secondly, I wanted to ask you out for dinner tonight." Jacob spoke with such confidence that Edward couldn't help but laugh._

"_You're asking me out?" Edward asked incredulously. Jacob smirked and took a look around the library before leaning in, close to Edward's mouth. _

"_C'mon, babe. What's a guy gotta do to earn a small, little date?" He teased, Edward scoffed. _

"_You might want to start of by not calling it a 'small,little,' anything." Edward bit his lip at his bold insinuation. Jacob seemed pleased with that answer and laughed._

"_Trust me, then, there will be no small, little anything on our date. Are you free now?" He asked, smile still tugging at his lips. Edward didn't hesitate to say he was free, even though he was supposed to head over to Alice's house to study. At that moment he didn't care and took the hand that was offered to him leading him away from the library, away from prying eyes._

…

The doorbell rang at exactly seven o'clock. Although Edward tried to be the one to answer the door he failed, as many times before, and his father ended up answering. Carlisle greeted Emmett with a warm handshake taken aback by the young man's appearance. They traded a few words, which apparently fell over well with Carlisle and Esme, who joined him as soon as she heard her husband began to speak. Edward stared at them for a while a bit surprised that his parents had actually taken a liking to his current boyfriend. Emmett looked over at him and gave him his dazzling smile that demanded a warm smile in return from the younger boy.

"Guys, I'm glad you enjoy his company this much, but we need to go." Edward stepped in turning the attention of his parents toward him.

"Right, you kids have fun, and have him home by eleven. Oh, and no funny business." Carlisle warned narrowing his eyes at his last words. Edward fought the urge to roll his eyes, if his dad only knew how much 'funny business' he had already gotten. Not from Emmett of course, at least not yet.

"Don't worry, sir. I'll have him back on time and I'll take care of him." Emmett said sincerely. With that said Edward grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the house, waving his goodbye to his parents.

"So, where we goin?" Edward asked, once he was seated on the passenger side of the car.

"First…" Emmett said before leaning over to press a kiss to Edward's lips, he pulled back smiling. "You look great tonight." Edward bit his lip trying to stop the smile tugging on his lips.

"Thank you, Emmett, you look really nice too." Edward replied, meaning every word, but somehow still feeling hollow. They began to small talk, but Edward couldn't help his mind floating months back.

"_Don't you touch me!" Edward screamed, feeling his chest tighten. Jacob followed him trying to reach for the boy's hand and failing again._

"_Edward, babe, calm down. Remember what I told you when we met, well…I thought you understood." Jacob said. Hearing how calm Jacob's voice was only angered Edward further. _

"_What the fuck, Jake? You expect me to just stand and watch while you practically fuck some girl against the wall?" Edward was seeing red now. Jacob's reply was a long sigh. Edward kept his head down forcing the tears away, the shaking of his hands to stop._

"_Go away, Jacob." Edward was surprised with how strong his voice sounded even though his jaw kept trembling. Jacob's eyes widened and he finally reached for Edward without the other pushing him away. He placed his hands on Edward's shoulders and leaned down._

"_Come on, babe, don't do this." Jacob's voice was soothing, the same tone he used in every argument he tried to end. Edward's eyes snapped towards his, already knowing the word's the were going to fall from his lips. The arguments they had seem to be on repeat, always the same words, the same actions, the same apologies at the end. No, not this time. He was tired of hearing the same excuses over and over again. How they couldn't go on normal dates, how they couldn't be seen talking for too long or else people might suspect something. For the past months Edward had to hide who he truly was, who he… loved. The only places deemed appropriate were shady motels, were he would have to lie about spending the night with any random friend. He was damned tired of it all. _

"_You know, in some way you are right. It's my own fault for accepting a relationship like this, if this thing we have can even be called a relationship." Edward thrust his hand back and forth between the two. "How could I be with someone who can't accept themselves, let alone a real relationship. I am gay, Jacob, and from what we've done together in bed I'll take the liberty to assume that you are too, and if you can't give me an open and clear relationship, I don't want to be with you anymore." A heavy silence hung between the two. Edward drew in a soft breath before continuing, voice softer, broken. "Because, hiding from everyone in town is not fucking fun." With that Edward swatted away Jacob's hands and left him standing there. He didn't turn around; the fear of seeing that Jacob had already left keeping him from looking back. He finally let the tears fall, congratulating himself for not crying in front of the other man, and sped up his pace, running home._

"… Edward?" Emmett's voice was soft as he touched Edward's shoulder, finally getting the boys attention.

"Sorry, what?" Emmett grimaced. Edward realized that they were standing outside a restaurant. Edward bit his lip and reached for Emmett's hand. "I'm sorry, I know I'm a little zoned out today." Edward apologized, squeezing his hand. Emmett smiled down at him and gave him a peck on the head before leading him into the cozy restaurant. The evening was wonderful, to put it lightly, Emmett was as sweet as always. It was during these moments that Edward remembered Jacob the most. At first he thought it was because he was reminding himself how much of a jerk Jacob had been, but then why would he feel like something was missing when he stared into blue eyes instead of dark brown. He tried to listen to everything Emmett would say, he would try to answer every question he was asked with the same conviction as the other, but… he couldn't. Edward felt ashamed for wanting to be with someone else while out with someone as nice and wonderful as Emmett.

The instant Emmett stood and excused himself to the bathroom, Edward plopped his head on the table, shutting his eyes closed. He jumped when he felt his phone vibrate. His eyes narrowed when the screen displayed a number with the word 'private' as the name of the caller. Even though he knew there was a possibility that it was Jacob, and that Emmett could be back any minute, Edward answered the phone.

"Hello." He held his breath.

"Edward, we need to talk. Don't hang up. I'm here in Forks; I got here yesterday." The words circled around his head until they finally settled down enough for him to hear them clearly. His throat tightened, and although he opened his mouth, nothing came out.

"Edward? Are you there?" Jacob's voice sounded hoarse, Edward noted. He gripped the phone tightly before bringing it to his side and ending the call. No, no, no, he couldn't. Just then Emmett came into view; sweet, nice, caring Emmett. Emmett who accepted their relationship with open arms, who introduced him to his parents and sister, who asked to meet his own parents. Emmett who didn't so much as look at him in any way that was inappropriate. That was when Edward realized he couldn't do this to someone like Emmett, not him. He would in no way drag Emmett down with him; he did not deserve it. After they finished their dinner and left, Edward asked Emmett to stop about three blocks away from his house.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Emmett asked, stopping the car. Edward unbuckled his seatbelt and got off the car, Emmett following him in confusion.

"Emmett, you are a wonderful person, a great friend, and, well the best damn boyfriend that you should seriously win a prize." Edward let out a bitter laugh. Emmett sighed somehow knowing where the conversation was going.

"I like you a lot, really, but I can't keep leading you on. I don't feel the same way about you, and staying with you any longer would be wasting your time, and that's not fair." Edward looked straight into the other's eyes, so that he would know he was being sincere.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't mind wasting my time with you." Emmett tried to lighten the mood, a sweetheart till the end. He reached for the other boy and pulled him into a bear hug. Edward felt guilt, relief, and affection, but that was it. He cared for Emmett and would always wish him well, but he didn't love him. When they pulled back Edward tried to ignore the sadness in the other's features and simply brushed the stray hairs away from his eyes, with a soft sigh Edward let go.

"Goodbye, Emmett." With those words Edward turned and began to walk home. The cool night air helped clear his head and with every step he felt increasingly better. His peaceful scene was marred by the vibration in his back pocket, he reached for his phone and glowered when he realized who was calling. Sucking in cold air he hit the green button and brought the phone to his ear. Before the other could get anything out Edward began to speak into the speaker.

"Jacob, today I've realized that you still hold a strong grip on my emotions. I thought that the time that we spent together would be forgotten easily, but it hasn't."

"Edward-" Jacob wanted to speak but was denied permission.

"No, listen to me. Although I still hold feeling for you, I don't want to see you. You hurt me too much, and I've also hurt you. I don't want that kind of relationship. I was stupid to think I could handle it back then." Edward stayed silent for a moment. His throat was becoming tight.

"I'm sorry." Jacob's reply came out as a whisper, but Edward heard it nonetheless; his cheeks became wet.

"I forgive you. And I hope that you can forgive me to." Edward bit his lip, a small part of his heart wanting to hear more from the other male.

"Edward, I just want you to know that you don't need to apologize to me. Also, that one day I'll prove to you that I'm not the same asshole from last year. One day I would like the pleasure to call you mine again." After those words the line went dead. Edward's eyes were wide and he slowly shook his head, a shallow laugh escaping his lips. He reached his home thankful that his parents were already asleep. He threw himself on the large sofa in the living room and shut his eyes. He was startled by the vibrations of his phone, he pulled it out, not sure of what emotion he felt when he realized it was a text message from Emmett.

'Hey last time I bother you, promise. Did you make it home alright?'

Edward smiled down at the phone in his hand. A sweetheart till the end.

**~Fin~**

Author Note: Hope you liked it! Now before the question arises, you can imagine your own couple ending. Maybe he went back with Jake, or as time went by realized he loved Emmett, who knows. I just wanted to make Edward fair and not have him choose either one in my story. Guy needs some space. Anyway, thanks for reading.

Love, me. :)


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